My perception is shifting

No one ever really knows what their perception is doing. One can only compare the occurring for of the thing as it is occurring against the memory of a previous occurring for of any sensory perception. The less you are identified with form, the more the secret life behind it can emerge. And there is a secret bliss which exist directly behind your willfull bullheaded refusal to give up your reacting to, judging, projecting, playing mental movies, complaining, insessant stream of thoughts that you actually believe is you. Like somehow you exist according to your capacity to conceptualize through words and label and describe the essence of the essence of any some such thing. But if you don't have the choice to either notice your thoughts, or be your thoughts, or to be the emotion or to notice the emotion, to be the reaction, or to notice the reaction and the pain in which your thoughts about it take you over. It is as if a doorway opens up inside of the occurring world of any sensory experience, from the slightest pin drop to the thing you can see out of the corner of your eye, but which doesn't exist unless you place your attention on the awareness that you are acknowledging the way whatever it is you are seeing on the side of your from the corner of your eye.

"On Armistice Day"

sunday april 4th 2009

" On Armistaas Day"

I was laying there, just now and I saw it, significance itself pretending to be all elusive n' shit. Hell na ( or no as contemporary society would say). It is the doorway of the 11:11. The say it is pre encoded into our cellular memory bank. And that is just as good an explanation as any; because just in case you didn't notice, nothing we stumble upon, or watch on the tube nowadays [1)has any relevance AND 2) should such a one ascribe ANY [pause to reflect] relevance to WHAT THEY SEE ON THE TELEVISION as having some profound intrinsic merit, I wash my hands of them. Because this individual actually believes that just because he thinks a thing is a curtain way, and his version of history insomuch as it relates to him only, is the way it was, and THEREFORE is the way it is. Because as a human, I only care about one thing. This consideration is THE fundamental attribute which guides all action. Namely this: "I care what they think." and since I have no faculty within me to rightly measure the significance of this inherent human trait, i choose not to merely accept, but instead to observe all patterns and reactions , and to rightly be alarmed at any sign of paranoia, as this is nothing and has no relevance and can only serve to postpone real discovery, It's only function is to stifle, as EVERYTHING is. Christians spiritualized this whole thing too much, to the point that I never even want to go to the place they painted for me as real. And here is what i mean. Right now there are probably the better part of one hundred thousand, frequencies floating and being deciphered unconsciously by your unconscious mind. So why can't you see it, why do you trust your own concepts, well they do, so i can to. And i am not saying your wrong, I am saying, there is no mystery. all is known and the technology which exists we know not of , !!!!!!!!this is everything summed up in it's supreme simplicity; All is known. There is no mystery, and the technology which exists we know not of ( and wouldNT understand it anyway) or "meaning" one must place on the discover of . Since this concern is universal, and since we all must "act as if" this concern is not existenct : on que, while turning on a dime, and dismissing any tacit allegation that ANYONE could have observed your countenance shift, nay, drag along, giving way to ANY ponderance's end to which is futile. regret for an action not taken, or ill executed. as an unwitting In fact, as a

Saturday 13th , 2010

All action or behavior can be derived from one of two places. Either I am who I am when you see me, or...I am not. Mine is a more extreme form of inauthenticity. This is only because for years I have considered myself for myself as one who is so good at being who I am that all of the covering didn't really happen. I am not hiding anything. I don't care. I care insomuch that it will bruise an otherwise subtly noticed concern about me being or doing something a little different than the way others do. So, I would simply redefine the thing from the inside out,. So "sense I and nobody else" was able to see how this new way of doing it would look, the "being so uniquely different" aspect of the way I would do a thing and the attention it got me, which I, myself couldn't even have told myself at the time of the creating of the validating of the functional aspect of the unfolding of the doing of the thing which I was going to be seen as different for doing differently was only validated by who I had created myself to be in the eyes of the other person. This became a way of acting and being which by itself came naturally, and sense the coming naturally of the unrestricted behavior came to me so easily and always and my choosing to filter the coming into my awareness of the active implementation of the perpetuation as a state of being of this aberrational mindset and outlook I employed as the antecedent I filter the creation of what would come to be known as my own personal methodology to do a thing, and this premise was who I was. And therefore who I was, was special. I knew I was special because others saw me that way. My trustworthiness became my mantra.of but me genuinely belieit would be perceived would be doing this thing , look through to the other side of the other way of doing the thing as it would be seen, and at the validity with which the

Forgetting Forgetting and then time making it ok Sometimes my ipod pulls a song out of it's arsenal in which I had long sense forgotten yet brings new

Sometimes my ipod pulls a song out of it's arsenal in which I had long sense forgotten yet brings new life into all this seemingly insignificant moment providing me an unexpected recollection of what use to motivate me through the music bringing with the memory the shocking proof that I had turned away and forgotten the very thing which provided me the motivation to move forward, the elusive turning away from the cause I once had to communicate what I heard and felt to anyone, the beauty which once enraptured all that I was: the dreams which were the reason I used to live, with a feeling I used to have about my life when I first heard the song and let it be the sum total of everything i could ever be and thereby conceive of as a veritable culmination and realization as an actuation of the paradigm which was the world hidden inside of the song and the joining of this amazing childlike existence and the making real of the presence of the magical world from where the feeling had come over me, leaving only an easy access to this world existing simultaneously parallel to our own validating this unthinkable bliss which was my version of love and how it would look as it became a part of everyone who was there in my world at the time, enabling for them as well the unforeseeable and thereby inconceivable achieving of them seeing this other secret world for themselves too , joining all as one in this infinite joy which was and is and is to come: this formerly unthinkable intangible paradigm made so real that it emanates from within us and we not too long after the seeing of this premise, soon realized it was us. zerostate

"Forgive them for they know not what they do", which is to say they were unconcious.

Letting the words emanate from being. Namely that which is fleeting and slipping away undefinable with words just underneath the structure of language. Leaving it glarringly obvious if we use words to be, we are not being at all. And more so curious the premise of the exist of this presence which lies beyond the mind, which is to say behind the meanings of words. And also the undefinable triggers inside of the levels of different understood normalities or understood world views and there corresponding relation to the selfsame evident opposite thing. Words dumm down and cover up being. That which is identifiable with words or labels holds no value. Remember how we were all perplexed about "The Presence". Beginning to work on the level of cause. Which is to say, not some place in the future, but the only place which is. The "NOW". And there again we are using words to assert functionality into the almost ineffible. And that is a stretch, really. Wordy usage of words just to use them. and so again, no power is found in them. Knowing is not conceptual. But who could think outside the their own constructs of and conceptualizations? I don't no either.