My perception is shifting

No one ever really knows what their perception is doing. One can only compare the occurring for of the thing as it is occurring against the memory of a previous occurring for of any sensory perception. The less you are identified with form, the more the secret life behind it can emerge. And there is a secret bliss which exist directly behind your willfull bullheaded refusal to give up your reacting to, judging, projecting, playing mental movies, complaining, insessant stream of thoughts that you actually believe is you. Like somehow you exist according to your capacity to conceptualize through words and label and describe the essence of the essence of any some such thing. But if you don't have the choice to either notice your thoughts, or be your thoughts, or to be the emotion or to notice the emotion, to be the reaction, or to notice the reaction and the pain in which your thoughts about it take you over. It is as if a doorway opens up inside of the occurring world of any sensory experience, from the slightest pin drop to the thing you can see out of the corner of your eye, but which doesn't exist unless you place your attention on the awareness that you are acknowledging the way whatever it is you are seeing on the side of your from the corner of your eye.